At the Beginning

It hit me. This story of us is all a misconception from my end. I was so in love with you that I misconstrued your friendship for reciprocation. Even at the falling out, I mistook your silence for pain equivalent to mine.


And now that we are at the bumpy part of the ending road, I am still revisited by hopeless misinterpretation of a love that never was. The veil I have unshrouded. I have shook off most of the memories, more so the feelings. I have honestly forgotten the happy chunk and deliberately remembered the painful parts to help me get over the former.

Yet by some play of fate, we are rekindling, to my dismay. I fight off vehemently, literally and internally. And so far I'm still at the winning end. By being half-hearted I tend to see it from a far-off point and yet imbibed enough to get more of the revelation I have so long ignored but not willing to forego..

We are at the climax, resolving the conflict of the story before we give off a blastful or quiet ending, whichever it may be, then roll the credits.

Why, you'd ask, when we have died as our parts with each other? Because a story doesn't end unexplained. That is not a story. That's the way for real life.And ours is just a story. A chapter in our lives that has to end. Which is worse when left unexplained, a life or a death? Probably both because the two are one - integral and cannot be separate from each other.

Life is not but without worth at its end. The art of forgetting, I have mastered it that even the important part I forget. My recovery is the vagueness of memory.

Forget poignant. 

Forget vivid. 

They're all[.]
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14 comments:

  1. Why fight off the feelings? Let it out, let her know, she might just be waiting for you to blurt it out, for you to say it out loud. (nosebleed akech, hahaha).

    Circa 2009!?! Reminiscing?? Hmmm, intriguing!! :)

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    1. tagal na di ba? 2009. ngayon magkaibigan kami "hanggang daigdig ay magbago."

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    2. Totoo ba yan, iba na tono ng reply mo ah, kumpara sa tono ng post mo. Hmmmm....tsismosa lang, hehe!! ;)

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  2. I extremely love how you wrote the first two paragraphs. Beautiful! I love your play of words in those two paragraphs.

    Nice red! Have a great week. ☺

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    1. Salamat Michael. Mahusay yung sumulat. sasabihin ko sa kanya. :)

      salamat ulit,,

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  3. I've read this post few hours after you posted. I left without commenting because I thought I'm too tired that I clicked the wrong URL - ENGLISH kasi si Red ba to??? ha ha ha

    Seriously, this is one beautiful piece. It is so coming from the heart (and soul?) making me feel the writer's emotion and "brokenheart-edness"

    Forgetting, fighting off a thing that has just been rekindled, and the pain of the love that you thought was never there and wanting to end a story that hasn't really ended is "HUGE and OVERWHELMING" that your heart and mind will never be able to take during the process.

    You wanted to think that the story ended but the truth is it doesn't. The story continues in the heart of the one that has been hurt the most by the story.

    All the pain written in this post are the ones that are vivid. You can not forget just now. You can not forget poignant nor vivid. You need time... and it's not coming soon.

    Sorry but that is the painful truth :(

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    1. Thank you ma'am. All is well. Katulad ng title, dito yung simula. At sabi ko nga kay Tal ng ThePinay Wanderer, magkaibigan kami ngayon hanggang daigdig ay magbago.

      Salamat ulit sa "post-length" comment ma'am. Appreciated itong lahat.

      Salamat.

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  4. Hi, Nice post thanks for sharing. Would you please consider adding a link to my website on your page. Please email me back.

    Thanks!

    Randy
    randydavis387@gmail.com

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    1. thank you, sir. emailed you already.

      Delete
  5. I hate how emotional this post is! Nadadala ako e, wag ganun..

    Forgetting is really the hard and painful part, maybe you should start with the simpler one, forgiving? Just a thought, based on my personal experience..

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    1. salamat napakoment ka dito. pasensya na emo itong post.

      I'll remember that. Forgiving.

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